Read-along time!
James 4 is a remarkably good one for me this week. The funny thing is, the culmination of how my week has been, and how James 4 has wrecked me, came last night. I love God's timing!
James 4:10 knocked me over this week. J and I started a new class with our HS students last Saturday. This is the first class we have ever come up with curriculum for, taught, and felt responsible for the hearts of our students who attend the class. We have become good at being supporting role people, and actually think this is what God meant for our lives when we started to think about ministry. This is not supporting role, and as a result is way far out of our comfort zones. It is also a way for me to lose sight of humility.
Several of the kids actually thanked us for the class afterward, which surprised me. Kids aren't typically good at articulating appreciation. Parents sought us out on Sunday to thank us for pouring into their kids. I sincerely said to them that it is a honor to be doing what God has made us to do. I told them how much I LOVE loving on HS students and giving away truth to them. I smiled and thanked them for their kind words. You would think that I could get puffed up by the appreciation, but in fact I found an even sneakier way of not being humble.
The guy over J and I didn't say directly to me that he appreciated our hard work, that he thought we did a good job, or that he was thankful for our partnership in the ministry. That's where my pride bristled up in all it's ugly glory. He told J all of those things, but he didn't tell me. How dare he not come to me personally and express gratitude! I know J and I often say "We are the Borg, you tell one of us and it's the same as telling both of us," but dang it, I want my personal recognition. I started to complain to J about this yesterday and he asked if I had checked my email. "Of course I haven't, I'm too busy for that!" He proceeds to read off emails that the guy over us sent to J and I, and then to the rest of the ministry, about how much he appreciates us and thinks we did a good job. Did I receive this well? No, I complained further. Later when I thought about it God brought James 4:10 to mind. What we were teaching was not about us, but about God. Our ministry to the youth is not for our glory but for God's. Our very breath that we use to complain is a gift from God. Is it just me and Paul or does the Romans 7:24 moment wreck any other hearts?
Here's the other kicker for the week. When filling out 10,000 pages of paperwork for our adoption there was a little question of guardianship for our children in the unfortunate event of our deaths before our kids are adults. We didn't really pray about this question. We both just looked at it, started making a list of who would not go there, for various reasons, and narrowed it down to one family. We wrote that family in, and figured we would talk with them about it later. We love and trust this family, feel like we agree on the essentials of faith, and like their parenting style. It's a no-brainer. Check! Answered that question, move on. Now I don't think this is legally binding if we write up a will and name someone else, but I don't know, but we are seriously reconsidering the answer to that question.
Looking back, we answered that question a lot in the same vein of James 4:13-17. We didn't really consider what God's will for this would be. We made our plans, without seriously considering what tomorrow could bring. This may make us sound like awful potential adoptive parents, but let me explain. When filling out seriously whole trees worth of information about your life, sometimes it gets late into the night and you answer a little too gut instinct and little less God's will. It's not an excuse, but a serious "why did we say that? Oh right it was midnight and our brains were fried." Now, I'm not even sure we're whole-heartedly reconsidering, but we definitely are asking God how we should proceed. Here's why we're finally asking that question. The husband of this family wrote a blog post about the Christian's response to poverty, social justice, and the kingdom of God. We have been aware that we differ with him on some theological issues, but until now that didn't really make us uncomfortable. Last night we were uncomfortable.
We are now and not yet people. We understand that some think we are WAY off base in our thinking that consummation of redemption is future and we are also working in the kingdom even now. We hope that every day we are taking steps to usher in the kingdom of God, putting hands and feet to "Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." We understand that it can be an eschatological mine-field to talk about the final consummation of Christ taking his bride, while also talking about how the bride is to live now. We get it. But we choose to care for the poor, to welcome the orphans into our hearts and lives, to love on widows, and to proclaim liberty to the captives. We feel it is beholden upon us as Christians to be the body of Christ, and these things are natural functions of the body.
There is a lot of debate lately about the theological implications of poverty, orphan care, and wealth. My untrained, un-seminaried, illogical answer to the argument is this: Mercy ministry is kingdom work! This flies directly in opposition to my dear brother whom I would trust with the lives of my adopted kids. And so, I debate how to talk to this significantly more Bible educated brother about how passionately I feel that God has called us to bring his kingdom even now. And I debate if I should ask him and his beautiful wife, whom I love so much, to care for my kids if they are orphaned again by their adopted family. I don't know how you tell an adopted kid that their adoption is not part of the kingdom coming, but I fear that might be the way they see it. And I smack myself in the forehead for thinking "today I will do this, and tomorrow this is what will happen, and it will be great!" without thinking "God what do you want?"
Showing posts with label Christians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christians. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Call to prayer
This is an edited version of an email we sent to close friends and family. Some folks read here, but have not received that email, so if you fall into that category, here you go!
Hey friends and family!
We are sorry for the complete lack of communication lately about our adoption, but those of you who know anything about adoption know that this is how it is sometimes. We do not have any updates per se, and so we have not emailed with updates. Here is what has transpired in the last few weeks.
We are sorry for the complete lack of communication lately about our adoption, but those of you who know anything about adoption know that this is how it is sometimes. We do not have any updates per se, and so we have not emailed with updates. Here is what has transpired in the last few weeks.
- We have received a few more pictures of our daughter, she is still beautiful, and our hearts are still in love with her sweet face.
- Her advocate, our sole source of information, has had some major family crises happen in the last few weeks, and has really had to focus on her life, which has, with good reason, pushed us to the background for a bit.
- We are still waiting for the US government to get things taken care of, and if you watch the news at all you know that there are so many other big things on plates of government officials right now, our little family isn't very significant to them.
- We still don't know if when to expect to travel.
As you can see, not much has changed. But, our hearts have changed in a big way. J and I talked the other night about where we are at, and both of us feel like it's time to really fight for our daughter. Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do tangibly to fight for her. Basically what we are being told is to stay out of the way and let the professionals do what they do. So how do we fight for our daughter from the sidelines? This is what God says to us:
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. -- Eph 6:10-12
This is where our fight is. We feel that the delays, and the silence, and the chaos in the advocate's life, and the struggle in our hearts are not necessarily things from God, but some are attacks of the spiritual forces of evil. Our enemy does not like adoption. It is a beautiful real life picture of the power of God to redeem lives, and it brings great glory to God when his people hear his call in adoption. (James 1:27) I don't say that to make myself feel special, I say it because it is true. Just as marriage is constantly attacked because it is the image of God and his church, adoption is attacked because it is the image of our inheritance in the kingdom of God. So we are entering into spiritual battle for our daughter, and it will be a long and hard fight that will continue for the rest of her life.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because we need your help. Many of you have sweetly reminded us on dozens of occasions that you are praying for us. For that we are so grateful. Many more of you are praying even though we don't know specifically of it. If there are any of you who feel a heart burden for our daughter, or for us, it is time for you to stand against the schemes of the devil. Our God is great and mighty, and has called us as his people to fight for justice to reign on the earth. We are hands and feet delivering justice by caring for the poor, the orphans, and the widows, but we are also soldiers fighting in the epic battle against evil that threatens to destroy hearts and lives. We will not back down, we will not surrender, for the LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. (Psalm 46)
Dear friends, please pray. Pray against the schemes of the devil that would try to stop God's plan of redemption for our daughter. Pray for saving faith to blossom in her heart. Pray against the whispers of discouragement planted in our minds like flaming darts. Pray for joy in our hearts as we face this trial and are tempted to despair. Pray against the attacks coming on the lives of people involved in facilitating our adoption. Pray for their hearts to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Pray against delays in the government. Pray for wisdom for our governmental leaders in regard to our nation, our family, and our daughter. Pray. Even when you don't hear from us for a while, pray. Even when you wonder what God is doing in our lives by calling us to this, pray. Even when you get tired of hearing us ask for prayer and want to do something practical, pray. Please pray.
Thank you all for standing with us in the first line of defense for our daughter!
Love!
D & J
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
At the impulse of Thy love
And we're back! I know I shouldn't be surprised by spiritual attacks during times of growth, but wow, it's been a rough month! So, here I am, continuing on with the Radical Read Along, and feeling that definite paradox of encouragement and conviction that comes when we hear what we've been needing to hear.
My husband called me the other day while he was at work and said he had heard something truly sad. Thinking he was being sarcastic, I laughed and asked what it was that was disheartening. He said that a friend of his had just confided in him that he only eats twice a day because he can't afford three meals. Ouch, no longer laughing. Upon further discussion, J realized the extent of the situation this friend is in. He is so far in debt that he feels hopeless, he is behind on every payment, and is about to be without a place to live. We haven't know this guy all that long, but he knows that we are Christians. Maybe he told J these things just to get it off his chest, maybe he told him because he knows that we are praying folks, or maybe he told him because this young man is part of our mission. J asked if I would be ok with this man living with us if he can't find another place to live. He wasn't asking to get permission, because I don't call the shots around here, he was feeling convicted to help and wanted to know that I was on board.
My response, I truly believe, was the evidence of God working in my heart. I was suprised by the words I said, as I said them. "We can't be in his life, proclaiming to be Christians, and desiring to share the gospel with him if we aren't willing to share our home and our food. He can stay as long as he needs to until he gets caught up. Rent free. Let's do this, let's love him." Then I stopped because I was both excited and scared at hearing God working.
J knows me. He knows that I like my space, I like things the way I do them, I don't like intruders in my space or time, and I have never been good with roommates. It was a major adjustment to living with my husband and actually learning to be a civilized human being with him. He knows that it would be hard on me to have anyone living with us, and both of us are asking God to work in our hearts willingness to see our house as His, not ours. So he asked if I was sure. After the gulp of selfishness finally went down and settled in my stomach I finally said that I was sure, then got off the phone an freaked out.
Then God reminded me of the miracle work that he has done in our lives in the last 3 years of marriage. When we got married we had more in our combined debt than I was making in a year. Within months of getting married we bought a house. Thankfully God gave us wisdom in buying our house, but with the added mortgage we now had more debt than I would make in 7 years, not including interest. And that is assuming that we would live off of my husband's income and take every penny I made and use it to pay off debt. So we made a plan to get out of debt in 5 years. We went to budgeting classes, read books, and started making adjustments to our lifestyles. The place we were most convicted is that we were not giving to the church. So, we started giving even though it felt counterintuitive to give when we didn't have extra.
Then about a year into marriage we felt God leading me to leave my job. Whether it was to get a different job or to stay home and actually care for my home and husband, that wasn't clear, but the need to leave was. Through much fear, hesitation, and disobedience, we finally realized that God did have a plan for us, that included future and hope, and that He wouldn't lead us where it was impossible to follow. Even if it was hard, it wasn't impossible. So, we were challenged to see the difference between what we needed and what we just wanted, and started eliminating luxuries. For a while we lived off of mac & cheese because we just couldn't afford more than that. Theoretically we could afford it, but not if we wanted to be out of debt. And every time we felt like we had made great strides in our finances, God convicted us about our giving, that it wasn't sacrificial. We don't care for the oppressed, the needy, the orphan, the widow, or even the messengers of the gospel, as much as we care for comfort. We should, but we don't.
We still have the mortgage, but the other debt is a third of what is was 3 years ago. We must be geniuses, we should write a book about how smart we are to do so good! Or, instead do we have a great God who has richly blessed us so that we can be a blessing to others? Maybe it isn't a book of "How to Get Out of Debt with 10 Simple Steps," but it is a life of saying "We've been there, we know your hurt and shame, let us introduce you to a God who gives us all things that pertain to life and godliness, even financial wisdom."
And it is even one step further of seeing how far God has brought us, and looking for more ways to give up what we think we need for the sake of the desires of His heart.
This is giving sacrificially to help those in need. This is getting out of debt not so that we can save for retirement, but so that we can pour our lives more freely into others. This is letting young men in need live with us as a way of living the gospel good-Samaritan style, rather than just preaching to him as he becomes homeless. This is taking everything extra that comes our way and saving it to pay the price of redemption for a life in need; living out the adoption that our Father has shown to us in the life of young girls desperate to be loved. This is asking if He had called us to go, and asking seriously, ready to go if the answer is "yes." This is giving so much time, resources, money, and love to the body of Christ that people think we are crazy. This is giving to the point that church leaders ask us to stop giving because there is nothing left for ourselves. Are we there yet? Sadly, no. Will we ever be? Doubtful.
I know that our friend who gets 2 meals a day is not poor by the standards of the world population. But I also know that by the standards of the lives around him, he is. And we are called to him as much as we are called to the people who live on a dollar a day. We are called, and if we don't answer that call then we may be counted among those who are cast out, surrounded by the ominous words "I never knew you." David Platt puts it well:
My husband called me the other day while he was at work and said he had heard something truly sad. Thinking he was being sarcastic, I laughed and asked what it was that was disheartening. He said that a friend of his had just confided in him that he only eats twice a day because he can't afford three meals. Ouch, no longer laughing. Upon further discussion, J realized the extent of the situation this friend is in. He is so far in debt that he feels hopeless, he is behind on every payment, and is about to be without a place to live. We haven't know this guy all that long, but he knows that we are Christians. Maybe he told J these things just to get it off his chest, maybe he told him because he knows that we are praying folks, or maybe he told him because this young man is part of our mission. J asked if I would be ok with this man living with us if he can't find another place to live. He wasn't asking to get permission, because I don't call the shots around here, he was feeling convicted to help and wanted to know that I was on board.
My response, I truly believe, was the evidence of God working in my heart. I was suprised by the words I said, as I said them. "We can't be in his life, proclaiming to be Christians, and desiring to share the gospel with him if we aren't willing to share our home and our food. He can stay as long as he needs to until he gets caught up. Rent free. Let's do this, let's love him." Then I stopped because I was both excited and scared at hearing God working.
J knows me. He knows that I like my space, I like things the way I do them, I don't like intruders in my space or time, and I have never been good with roommates. It was a major adjustment to living with my husband and actually learning to be a civilized human being with him. He knows that it would be hard on me to have anyone living with us, and both of us are asking God to work in our hearts willingness to see our house as His, not ours. So he asked if I was sure. After the gulp of selfishness finally went down and settled in my stomach I finally said that I was sure, then got off the phone an freaked out.
Then God reminded me of the miracle work that he has done in our lives in the last 3 years of marriage. When we got married we had more in our combined debt than I was making in a year. Within months of getting married we bought a house. Thankfully God gave us wisdom in buying our house, but with the added mortgage we now had more debt than I would make in 7 years, not including interest. And that is assuming that we would live off of my husband's income and take every penny I made and use it to pay off debt. So we made a plan to get out of debt in 5 years. We went to budgeting classes, read books, and started making adjustments to our lifestyles. The place we were most convicted is that we were not giving to the church. So, we started giving even though it felt counterintuitive to give when we didn't have extra.
Then about a year into marriage we felt God leading me to leave my job. Whether it was to get a different job or to stay home and actually care for my home and husband, that wasn't clear, but the need to leave was. Through much fear, hesitation, and disobedience, we finally realized that God did have a plan for us, that included future and hope, and that He wouldn't lead us where it was impossible to follow. Even if it was hard, it wasn't impossible. So, we were challenged to see the difference between what we needed and what we just wanted, and started eliminating luxuries. For a while we lived off of mac & cheese because we just couldn't afford more than that. Theoretically we could afford it, but not if we wanted to be out of debt. And every time we felt like we had made great strides in our finances, God convicted us about our giving, that it wasn't sacrificial. We don't care for the oppressed, the needy, the orphan, the widow, or even the messengers of the gospel, as much as we care for comfort. We should, but we don't.
We still have the mortgage, but the other debt is a third of what is was 3 years ago. We must be geniuses, we should write a book about how smart we are to do so good! Or, instead do we have a great God who has richly blessed us so that we can be a blessing to others? Maybe it isn't a book of "How to Get Out of Debt with 10 Simple Steps," but it is a life of saying "We've been there, we know your hurt and shame, let us introduce you to a God who gives us all things that pertain to life and godliness, even financial wisdom."
And it is even one step further of seeing how far God has brought us, and looking for more ways to give up what we think we need for the sake of the desires of His heart.
This is giving sacrificially to help those in need. This is getting out of debt not so that we can save for retirement, but so that we can pour our lives more freely into others. This is letting young men in need live with us as a way of living the gospel good-Samaritan style, rather than just preaching to him as he becomes homeless. This is taking everything extra that comes our way and saving it to pay the price of redemption for a life in need; living out the adoption that our Father has shown to us in the life of young girls desperate to be loved. This is asking if He had called us to go, and asking seriously, ready to go if the answer is "yes." This is giving so much time, resources, money, and love to the body of Christ that people think we are crazy. This is giving to the point that church leaders ask us to stop giving because there is nothing left for ourselves. Are we there yet? Sadly, no. Will we ever be? Doubtful.
I know that our friend who gets 2 meals a day is not poor by the standards of the world population. But I also know that by the standards of the lives around him, he is. And we are called to him as much as we are called to the people who live on a dollar a day. We are called, and if we don't answer that call then we may be counted among those who are cast out, surrounded by the ominous words "I never knew you." David Platt puts it well:
if our lives do not reflect radical compassion for the poor, there is reason to wonder if Christ is really in us at all. (111)God has placed within the earthen vessels of His children the unspeakable gift, the treasure of the light of the knowledge of Christ Jesus our Lord. How can those around us know the richness of that treasure if we aren't willing to pour it out any way we possibly can?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Do I trust Him?
When did it become taboo to counsel people to trust God? Every time I read the Bible I am confronted with the same words, "Trust ME." God knows that I don't trust Him as I ought, so He has jam-packed His love letter to me with reminders of His faithfulness. Yet, when I talk to people about the things I'm wrestling with (Jacob style) they rarely counsel me to trust God. This is not a judgment on my friends, I do the same thing. So why do we not encourage each other to trust God? Are we too scientific for that, or is it that we are control freaks?
When I talk to people about our inability to get pregnant I hear all kinds of things. Some have suggested that I talk to their friends or family members who have had infertility issues. As if somehow a bunch of frustrated, depressed, confused, angry women in a room together is a good idea! Some have asked me why we haven't just done any number of fertility treatments that worked for some distant relative or friend of theirs. Right, because I'm made of money, and would love to spend everything I have on something that is a maybe, and for many women is a no. Some have laughed it off like, why would you want kids (while they are holding a screaming toddler who just doesn't want to obey mommy.) I admit, other people's children have the capacity to make me want to get a hysterectomy, and yet I know from talking to these same stressed out mommies that when it is good it is better-than-amazing good. And then there are the times where I just have to walk away while people are telling me that acupuncture, special foods, and adopting will magically open up my womb.
It is a rare friend who will tell me that they don't understand why this is happening, but they do understand that I need to trust God. I can't tell you how valuable that is to a person in the depths of despair. Reaffirming truth that the person already knows, not in a "please stop crying, this is awkward" way, but in a "I love you too much to let you deny the truth" way, can help them remember who is in control of this mess called life. Even in the times where it aggrivates me to hear AGAIN that I need to fully rely on God, I am eventually thankful for the reminder that I have to submit all things to Him, not just the things that I'm joyful about.
But how do I break the taboo around the truth? I guess that is where genuine fellowship comes in. If I am in someone's life, and we are holding each other accountable, then I should be bold enough to remind my friend to trust God, even when it hurts. I should be humble enough to hear it from someone who loves me enough to say it.
Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done.
When I talk to people about our inability to get pregnant I hear all kinds of things. Some have suggested that I talk to their friends or family members who have had infertility issues. As if somehow a bunch of frustrated, depressed, confused, angry women in a room together is a good idea! Some have asked me why we haven't just done any number of fertility treatments that worked for some distant relative or friend of theirs. Right, because I'm made of money, and would love to spend everything I have on something that is a maybe, and for many women is a no. Some have laughed it off like, why would you want kids (while they are holding a screaming toddler who just doesn't want to obey mommy.) I admit, other people's children have the capacity to make me want to get a hysterectomy, and yet I know from talking to these same stressed out mommies that when it is good it is better-than-amazing good. And then there are the times where I just have to walk away while people are telling me that acupuncture, special foods, and adopting will magically open up my womb.
It is a rare friend who will tell me that they don't understand why this is happening, but they do understand that I need to trust God. I can't tell you how valuable that is to a person in the depths of despair. Reaffirming truth that the person already knows, not in a "please stop crying, this is awkward" way, but in a "I love you too much to let you deny the truth" way, can help them remember who is in control of this mess called life. Even in the times where it aggrivates me to hear AGAIN that I need to fully rely on God, I am eventually thankful for the reminder that I have to submit all things to Him, not just the things that I'm joyful about.
But how do I break the taboo around the truth? I guess that is where genuine fellowship comes in. If I am in someone's life, and we are holding each other accountable, then I should be bold enough to remind my friend to trust God, even when it hurts. I should be humble enough to hear it from someone who loves me enough to say it.
Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
What was I thinking?
This is a change of pace for this place I call my blog, both in that I don't think anyone actually ever reads this, and that it has a focused intent for the next few weeks/months. Doing a "Radical read-along" with many amazing folks through this amazing lady's blog has made me think I might just be crazy, and I've started getting strange looks from fellow Christians, which is always fun! So, here we go on a new adventure...
Am I willing to give up everything for the sake of the One who gave up everything for me? I give money to missionaries that I love and pray for. I help in fundraising efforts for mission trips going out from my church. Heck! I even went on a trip to Guatemala. I spend time with other people's teenagers, gladly (most of the time) loving them through their messiness. We try to find things to cut out of our budget so that we can support church planting and adoptions. I'm a pretty radical Christian right? Or am I like a ridiculously wealthy person who gives to charity to alleviate some guilt and also get a tax break? Some spoiled kid who does community service for the sake of getting out of more serious punishment?
I used to dream of being a missionary, living in a foreign land, loving people for Jesus. Then i got older, realized that was a lot of hard, heart-breaking work that I wasn't sure I wanted, married a man who has a hard time traveling to another state, much less another country, and laughed it off as the dreams of youth, like when I said I wanted to be an astronaut or a paleontologist or a lawyer. I decided (of my own volition mind you) that we (once married it becomes a we excuse, not just an I excuse) just weren't called to ministry, and we would just try to support our local church, and maybe go on short term stuff if we had the money. What?! Jesus included me in the "Go into all the world" part of the Great Commission, and yet I chalked it up to Him not meaning ALL the world since my husband doesn't travel well! Are you kidding me? What a wimp I am!
We just finished a sermon series on Luke at our church, and we kept coming across things like "let the dead bury the dead, come follow Me," and "sell everything you have, give it to the poor and follow Me," and "whoever wants to follow Me must hate their family" and my personal favorite "whoever preserves their own life with lose it, but whoever loses their life for My sake with find it." Meanwhile we're working through the Heidelberg Catechism with the youth and get to the Ten Commandments. In trying to get them to think of what idols are,, I tell them it's anything in our lives that we love as much or more than God. There is no competition, He is to be our only love, not one of many. At the same time I'm reading through Samuel, Kings, and Chronicles, and see all of the times that the people did evil in the sight of the Lord, defiled His holy temple, and had to be brought low in order to see their sin. Then it hits me, my relationship to everyone and everything should look like hate in comparison to my love for God, and it doesn't. My body is the temple of the Most High, and yet I have filled the dwelling place of my Creator with idols of comfort, family, financial stability, church activities, food, and have pushed the holy altar of God to the corner so that I don't have to feel obligated to lay my life upon it.
Jesus wants me to be healthy, wealthy, and wise right? Jesus wants me to raise sweet little babies who look like their momma, have brains like their daddy, and know Bible verses by learning cute little songs. Jesus wants us to retire early, send our babies to good colleges, and always teach them the importance of 10% to God and 10% to savings. Right? This is my future right? Wait, where does "deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me" fit into that? ummm, it doesn't.
What if we haven't been able to conceive because God has children for us who look like other mommas and daddys? What if God has given us the wisdom to get out of debt so that when He calls us to full-time ministry we don't have the weight of debt holding us back? What if He directed us to a church planting church so that we can be church planters? What if He gave us a beautiful home so that we can bring beautiful, desperate, pregnant women into a safe place where adoption is the answer, not abortion? What if He has brought crazy missionaries into our lives not just so we can support them financially, but to give us inspiration to go? What if I really believed what He said, and obeyed it? What if I let Him break my heart for the world that he longs to save, for the billions of people who haven't heard, for the millions of children without parents, for the people who are my eternal family? What if I stop trying to control everything, and understand that He effortlessly "upholds all things by the word of His power." (Heb 1:3)
In His sovreign plan He is working all things to conform me into the image of Christ, who is the exact representation of the nature of the Almighty Father. What makes me think that He should look like me? He is making me look like Him. With the word of His power.
Am I willing to give up everything for the sake of the One who gave up everything for me? I give money to missionaries that I love and pray for. I help in fundraising efforts for mission trips going out from my church. Heck! I even went on a trip to Guatemala. I spend time with other people's teenagers, gladly (most of the time) loving them through their messiness. We try to find things to cut out of our budget so that we can support church planting and adoptions. I'm a pretty radical Christian right? Or am I like a ridiculously wealthy person who gives to charity to alleviate some guilt and also get a tax break? Some spoiled kid who does community service for the sake of getting out of more serious punishment?
I used to dream of being a missionary, living in a foreign land, loving people for Jesus. Then i got older, realized that was a lot of hard, heart-breaking work that I wasn't sure I wanted, married a man who has a hard time traveling to another state, much less another country, and laughed it off as the dreams of youth, like when I said I wanted to be an astronaut or a paleontologist or a lawyer. I decided (of my own volition mind you) that we (once married it becomes a we excuse, not just an I excuse) just weren't called to ministry, and we would just try to support our local church, and maybe go on short term stuff if we had the money. What?! Jesus included me in the "Go into all the world" part of the Great Commission, and yet I chalked it up to Him not meaning ALL the world since my husband doesn't travel well! Are you kidding me? What a wimp I am!
We just finished a sermon series on Luke at our church, and we kept coming across things like "let the dead bury the dead, come follow Me," and "sell everything you have, give it to the poor and follow Me," and "whoever wants to follow Me must hate their family" and my personal favorite "whoever preserves their own life with lose it, but whoever loses their life for My sake with find it." Meanwhile we're working through the Heidelberg Catechism with the youth and get to the Ten Commandments. In trying to get them to think of what idols are,, I tell them it's anything in our lives that we love as much or more than God. There is no competition, He is to be our only love, not one of many. At the same time I'm reading through Samuel, Kings, and Chronicles, and see all of the times that the people did evil in the sight of the Lord, defiled His holy temple, and had to be brought low in order to see their sin. Then it hits me, my relationship to everyone and everything should look like hate in comparison to my love for God, and it doesn't. My body is the temple of the Most High, and yet I have filled the dwelling place of my Creator with idols of comfort, family, financial stability, church activities, food, and have pushed the holy altar of God to the corner so that I don't have to feel obligated to lay my life upon it.
Jesus wants me to be healthy, wealthy, and wise right? Jesus wants me to raise sweet little babies who look like their momma, have brains like their daddy, and know Bible verses by learning cute little songs. Jesus wants us to retire early, send our babies to good colleges, and always teach them the importance of 10% to God and 10% to savings. Right? This is my future right? Wait, where does "deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me" fit into that? ummm, it doesn't.
What if we haven't been able to conceive because God has children for us who look like other mommas and daddys? What if God has given us the wisdom to get out of debt so that when He calls us to full-time ministry we don't have the weight of debt holding us back? What if He directed us to a church planting church so that we can be church planters? What if He gave us a beautiful home so that we can bring beautiful, desperate, pregnant women into a safe place where adoption is the answer, not abortion? What if He has brought crazy missionaries into our lives not just so we can support them financially, but to give us inspiration to go? What if I really believed what He said, and obeyed it? What if I let Him break my heart for the world that he longs to save, for the billions of people who haven't heard, for the millions of children without parents, for the people who are my eternal family? What if I stop trying to control everything, and understand that He effortlessly "upholds all things by the word of His power." (Heb 1:3)
In His sovreign plan He is working all things to conform me into the image of Christ, who is the exact representation of the nature of the Almighty Father. What makes me think that He should look like me? He is making me look like Him. With the word of His power.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
What going to Guatemala meant for me
I got back from a trip to Guatemala a few days ago, and I realized that all the things I went there or were not things I accomplished. Conversely, all the things that God sent me there for were accomplished.
I signed up for the trip hoping to be on the team drilling a well. Then everything changed, the original location of a well was changed, we were doing a different water project first, and there was a much greater need for women to do Bible stories, games, and hygiene education with the kids. Needless to say, I felt like the old bait and switch had happened, but didn't want to admit that it was in God's will. By the time the trip came I had finaly conceded that maybe God knew what He had for me to do while I was there, even though I had no idea. My official position in the team was floater with an emphasis in VBS/hygiene.
First lesson learned, sometimes God doesn't make everything clear so that we can learn to trust Him and rely on His judgment more than our own.
Once there chaos ensued. We were not as well organized as we thought we were, and the people we thought would lead either weren't there, or didn't want to lead. Everyone apparently had their own visions for this trip, and it seems none of them were realized, or if they were it was not according to our plan. We got to learn patience, kindness, and how to do everything without complaint, even when everything seemingly deserved a complaint. We didn't have the option of mutiny, instead we had to find new ways to adapt to what God gave us to work with.
Second lesson learned, do everything without complaint, even when others are complaining. God is watching all hearts, you don't need to watch yours and theirs.
I thought that going to Guatemala was to help the people there. Silly me, God used them to help me. The whole time I felt like my heart was like a cicada. I felt like my heart came to the surface, and started breaking free of it's old skin to grow bigger. It literally at times felt ripped open by the smile of a child, or the hug of a sister who only spoke Spanish, or the laugh and snuggle of a baby on my knee. I had become comfortable in the amount of love that I showed my family (church family included) and had no idea that God wanted my heart to be bigger, in order to love people more fully with His love.
Third lesson learned, God is not content to leave us where our hearts are comfortable, He wants us to become ever more like Him.
Out of the blue once I was there I was asked to work on the well drilling team on Thursday and Friday. I had totally given up on the idea and didn't even pack clothes for this kind of work. Thinking I would be working in the mud in a skirt I dug in my backpack only to find a pair of pants I had thrown in at the last minute that worked perfectly. Two back-breaking days of work gave me such a great respect for the woman who does the same things I was doing for two weeks straight. One day I was pouring blood from my hands before I realized I probably needed gloves, to which someone found me gloves that worked. We were unable to complete the well; we pretty much ran out of materials. Worried that the community would be up in arms over us drilling a well and not completing it, I discovered that people are much more forgiving in Guatemala. They understood why we didn't complete it, weren't mad, and were glad that someday we would come back and complete it so that they could have clean water.
Fourth lesson learned, sometimes God says "no" or "not yet" and these are opportunities for us to learn trust as much as the "yes" moments are.
On Thursday night I was asked to present a devotional on Friday morning for the team. My heart panicked, but my lips said yes, which later I was a little angry at myself for. Everyone on the team was older than me, wiser than me, our brothers and sisters in Guatemala who would be there have obviously been through a lot more in their lives that I have, and I felt I had no right to stand in front of them and lead anything. In my room that night I studied, prayed, studied, then prayed a lot more. Finally I just prayed that I would get out of the way, and let God speak. In the morning I had a few speaking points, most of which I didn't touch. I forgot to get the Spanish/English Bible my dad had, and my Spanish interpreter decided to go for a walk at just the wrong time. Nervously, I started speaking from my heart, and somehow God helped me get out of the way so that He would be glorified. I don't really remember what I said, but I know I cried at how good God is. That's right, I cried in front of a bunch of people, but at least it wasn't selfish crying!
Fifth lesson learned, sometimes God humbles us so that in our weakness He can be greatly exalted.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. - Philippians 4:4-8
I signed up for the trip hoping to be on the team drilling a well. Then everything changed, the original location of a well was changed, we were doing a different water project first, and there was a much greater need for women to do Bible stories, games, and hygiene education with the kids. Needless to say, I felt like the old bait and switch had happened, but didn't want to admit that it was in God's will. By the time the trip came I had finaly conceded that maybe God knew what He had for me to do while I was there, even though I had no idea. My official position in the team was floater with an emphasis in VBS/hygiene.
First lesson learned, sometimes God doesn't make everything clear so that we can learn to trust Him and rely on His judgment more than our own.
Once there chaos ensued. We were not as well organized as we thought we were, and the people we thought would lead either weren't there, or didn't want to lead. Everyone apparently had their own visions for this trip, and it seems none of them were realized, or if they were it was not according to our plan. We got to learn patience, kindness, and how to do everything without complaint, even when everything seemingly deserved a complaint. We didn't have the option of mutiny, instead we had to find new ways to adapt to what God gave us to work with.
Second lesson learned, do everything without complaint, even when others are complaining. God is watching all hearts, you don't need to watch yours and theirs.
I thought that going to Guatemala was to help the people there. Silly me, God used them to help me. The whole time I felt like my heart was like a cicada. I felt like my heart came to the surface, and started breaking free of it's old skin to grow bigger. It literally at times felt ripped open by the smile of a child, or the hug of a sister who only spoke Spanish, or the laugh and snuggle of a baby on my knee. I had become comfortable in the amount of love that I showed my family (church family included) and had no idea that God wanted my heart to be bigger, in order to love people more fully with His love.
Third lesson learned, God is not content to leave us where our hearts are comfortable, He wants us to become ever more like Him.
Out of the blue once I was there I was asked to work on the well drilling team on Thursday and Friday. I had totally given up on the idea and didn't even pack clothes for this kind of work. Thinking I would be working in the mud in a skirt I dug in my backpack only to find a pair of pants I had thrown in at the last minute that worked perfectly. Two back-breaking days of work gave me such a great respect for the woman who does the same things I was doing for two weeks straight. One day I was pouring blood from my hands before I realized I probably needed gloves, to which someone found me gloves that worked. We were unable to complete the well; we pretty much ran out of materials. Worried that the community would be up in arms over us drilling a well and not completing it, I discovered that people are much more forgiving in Guatemala. They understood why we didn't complete it, weren't mad, and were glad that someday we would come back and complete it so that they could have clean water.
Fourth lesson learned, sometimes God says "no" or "not yet" and these are opportunities for us to learn trust as much as the "yes" moments are.
On Thursday night I was asked to present a devotional on Friday morning for the team. My heart panicked, but my lips said yes, which later I was a little angry at myself for. Everyone on the team was older than me, wiser than me, our brothers and sisters in Guatemala who would be there have obviously been through a lot more in their lives that I have, and I felt I had no right to stand in front of them and lead anything. In my room that night I studied, prayed, studied, then prayed a lot more. Finally I just prayed that I would get out of the way, and let God speak. In the morning I had a few speaking points, most of which I didn't touch. I forgot to get the Spanish/English Bible my dad had, and my Spanish interpreter decided to go for a walk at just the wrong time. Nervously, I started speaking from my heart, and somehow God helped me get out of the way so that He would be glorified. I don't really remember what I said, but I know I cried at how good God is. That's right, I cried in front of a bunch of people, but at least it wasn't selfish crying!
Fifth lesson learned, sometimes God humbles us so that in our weakness He can be greatly exalted.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. - Philippians 4:4-8
Friday, June 12, 2009
Is that edifying to the church?
Should pastors blog? This has been a question rolling around in my head all week. I keep going back and forth on it, and still haven't decided for sure how I feel. The more direct question that I've come to is: Should a pastor always edify the church through their blog? To that I say yes! Now there are people who might say that pastors are people too, and sometimes their blogs are just an expression of their humanity, not necessarily of their role as a pastor. To that I say, if can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen, OR if you don't want to live your life under intense scrutiny don't become a pastor, or a Christian for that matter.
I say all of this not to say that pastors have to be perfect, or that their blogs have to be 100% edifying. I say this to challenge pastors to think about the standard they are setting for the people they are leading. The new trend is for pastors to blog as a way of footnotes for a recent sermon. This I love. It really is enjoyable for me to look at a blog of someone who has been studying much deeper than I am capable of studying something that I feel is necessary for my life and I find an extra sermon or two in their elaboration of the point. It is edifying to my faith, and I think it is as well to the faith of others. Do I expect this to be my only source of sermons though? No way! Christians are commanded time and again throughout the Bible to seek out corporate worship. But, when we are not as good at studying as we should be, these blogs that give you everything that had to be cut out to make the sermon short enough for Sunday are wonderful resources to get our studying headed down the right path. Thank God there are pastors technically savvy enough to give us the extra meat to encourage us in our growth!
The blogs that bother me are the pastors who seem to blog all day long. One particular blog, I recently had to stop reading because I would get so upset that the writer was making 3-7 blog posts a day, most of them between 8-5. Part of what disturbed me was the content of the blog; at least one post a day was a vehement virtual screaming against abortion. If you wonder how I feel about Christians screaming about the horrors of abortion, look further back in my blog. The other part that bothered me was the amount of time each day that this pastor spent blogging. My issue with this is from strictly a financial perspective.
People give their money to the church with a three part understanding. First, they give because it is commanded, and often they give cheerfully because it is a desire in their heart. Second, they give in order to support the ministries of the church, whether it's missions, or children's church, or meals for the sick, or any number of other things. Third they give to support the staff of the church. Hopefully people recognize that pastors, secretaries, janitors, and financial people need to have money to be able to eat, and in order for them to serve the church with all of themselves it is our duty as the body to provide for them. It's sort of the new application of the old Levitical Law that allowed provision for the Levites so that they could focus on serving the people instead of focusing out feeding their families. I have seen great examples of pastors taking this part of people's giving very seriously, almost too seriously sometimes. I have seen pastors who literally work themselves sick because their desire to serve the church was stronger than their desire for their own lives. Do I think that pastors should work 80 hour work weeks? No, but those who just hang out in the office from 8-5 and then go home and make no extra effort in edifying and discipling get a lot less respect from me than those who do.
So, when I see a pastor who spends all day blogging, and very rarely are his blog posts edifying, it makes me feel like he doesn't understand Who he serves, or why he is being paid to be in the position he is in. Is it so important to have a well read, frequently updated blog that you need to forsake your ministry to the church to get it? I would rather you didn't ever blog and pour your passion into loving people!
I say all of this not to say that pastors have to be perfect, or that their blogs have to be 100% edifying. I say this to challenge pastors to think about the standard they are setting for the people they are leading. The new trend is for pastors to blog as a way of footnotes for a recent sermon. This I love. It really is enjoyable for me to look at a blog of someone who has been studying much deeper than I am capable of studying something that I feel is necessary for my life and I find an extra sermon or two in their elaboration of the point. It is edifying to my faith, and I think it is as well to the faith of others. Do I expect this to be my only source of sermons though? No way! Christians are commanded time and again throughout the Bible to seek out corporate worship. But, when we are not as good at studying as we should be, these blogs that give you everything that had to be cut out to make the sermon short enough for Sunday are wonderful resources to get our studying headed down the right path. Thank God there are pastors technically savvy enough to give us the extra meat to encourage us in our growth!
The blogs that bother me are the pastors who seem to blog all day long. One particular blog, I recently had to stop reading because I would get so upset that the writer was making 3-7 blog posts a day, most of them between 8-5. Part of what disturbed me was the content of the blog; at least one post a day was a vehement virtual screaming against abortion. If you wonder how I feel about Christians screaming about the horrors of abortion, look further back in my blog. The other part that bothered me was the amount of time each day that this pastor spent blogging. My issue with this is from strictly a financial perspective.
People give their money to the church with a three part understanding. First, they give because it is commanded, and often they give cheerfully because it is a desire in their heart. Second, they give in order to support the ministries of the church, whether it's missions, or children's church, or meals for the sick, or any number of other things. Third they give to support the staff of the church. Hopefully people recognize that pastors, secretaries, janitors, and financial people need to have money to be able to eat, and in order for them to serve the church with all of themselves it is our duty as the body to provide for them. It's sort of the new application of the old Levitical Law that allowed provision for the Levites so that they could focus on serving the people instead of focusing out feeding their families. I have seen great examples of pastors taking this part of people's giving very seriously, almost too seriously sometimes. I have seen pastors who literally work themselves sick because their desire to serve the church was stronger than their desire for their own lives. Do I think that pastors should work 80 hour work weeks? No, but those who just hang out in the office from 8-5 and then go home and make no extra effort in edifying and discipling get a lot less respect from me than those who do.
So, when I see a pastor who spends all day blogging, and very rarely are his blog posts edifying, it makes me feel like he doesn't understand Who he serves, or why he is being paid to be in the position he is in. Is it so important to have a well read, frequently updated blog that you need to forsake your ministry to the church to get it? I would rather you didn't ever blog and pour your passion into loving people!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Reflections on "Trying"
It seems like everyone I know has new babies, is pregnant, or is trying to get pregnant. Since this is something that is pervasive in my life it has started me thinking about the whole art of trying to get pregnant. Shortly after we got married, J's friend pulled him aside and told him to never "try." Apparently trying to get pregnant in their house was a very stressful event, and became a true obsession for his wife to the point that the frequency with which she took pregnancy test was becoming a major household expense. J conveyed this conversation to me and I scoffed at the fact that someone could be that obsessed with something, and we joked about the people we knew who were trying and bordering on similar obsessions.
That was until we started trying. Then we discovered the feeling of failure when every month you're not pregnant, AGAIN! We found how stressful it could be to have your fertile days all mapped out and then have life interfere with the plans for those fertile days. It seemed like immediately we started fighting over little things, both of us feeling inadequate, and struggling with feeling like God just didn't understand our plans for our family, and if He did He would let us get pregnant. How funny is it that we want God to fit our plans instead of finding out what His plans are? Silly humans!
Then I was reading through my Bible and kept coming across women who were unable to have children. In that culture it was truly a shameful thing to not be able to give your husband children. It was also continually acknowledged that children were truly a gift from God and that being able to bear children should not be taken lightly. Wow, that's convicting. Had I even put God anywhere in the discussion about babies? No. Maybe that is why it was becoming a wedge between my husband and I! Shouldn't children be brought into this world as an extension of our love for each other rather than as something for us to love? Finally I ended up sitting down with J and telling him that I wanted to leave it up to God, and wanted to mutually try to have the faith to trust God to work in our lives how He planned and in His timing. The poor man seemed relieved, and I realized then how stressful this had become for both of us. I've also realized since then how many thing in our lives need to happen right now that couldn't happen if we had a baby. It still is a thing that every month we hope for, but we try to place our hope in God first and foremost.
Now when people tell me they're trying, I often want to ask them if they've prayed about it. It has become so much of an obsession in our culture as children have become the center of our families that I think a lot of well meaning people forget to put God in the middle of the discussion, or even in the discussion at all. Yes, sometimes it is hard to look at all the babies in my life and not long for one of my own. But what should be more pervasive in my life is looking to God from Whom all blessing flow and asking that I be changed more into the image of His Son, in order to prepare me to a be a good parent.
That was until we started trying. Then we discovered the feeling of failure when every month you're not pregnant, AGAIN! We found how stressful it could be to have your fertile days all mapped out and then have life interfere with the plans for those fertile days. It seemed like immediately we started fighting over little things, both of us feeling inadequate, and struggling with feeling like God just didn't understand our plans for our family, and if He did He would let us get pregnant. How funny is it that we want God to fit our plans instead of finding out what His plans are? Silly humans!
Then I was reading through my Bible and kept coming across women who were unable to have children. In that culture it was truly a shameful thing to not be able to give your husband children. It was also continually acknowledged that children were truly a gift from God and that being able to bear children should not be taken lightly. Wow, that's convicting. Had I even put God anywhere in the discussion about babies? No. Maybe that is why it was becoming a wedge between my husband and I! Shouldn't children be brought into this world as an extension of our love for each other rather than as something for us to love? Finally I ended up sitting down with J and telling him that I wanted to leave it up to God, and wanted to mutually try to have the faith to trust God to work in our lives how He planned and in His timing. The poor man seemed relieved, and I realized then how stressful this had become for both of us. I've also realized since then how many thing in our lives need to happen right now that couldn't happen if we had a baby. It still is a thing that every month we hope for, but we try to place our hope in God first and foremost.
Now when people tell me they're trying, I often want to ask them if they've prayed about it. It has become so much of an obsession in our culture as children have become the center of our families that I think a lot of well meaning people forget to put God in the middle of the discussion, or even in the discussion at all. Yes, sometimes it is hard to look at all the babies in my life and not long for one of my own. But what should be more pervasive in my life is looking to God from Whom all blessing flow and asking that I be changed more into the image of His Son, in order to prepare me to a be a good parent.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Excommunication pending.....
The husband and I were having an interesting discussion on our drive up to Denver. We found a subject both of us are passionate about, but both of us avoid discussing because we are among a minority within our circle of friends and could really anger some people with our thoughts. I've been mulling over this discussion for days now with continued gusto of heart for this issue. Since he is now back home and I am not, I guess this seems like the next logical outlet.
The issue we were discussing was the response of most Christians to abortion. The thing that gets me all riled up is not, surprisingly, abortion itself. Before I'm lynched I should explain. Abortion is an ugly, vile, heartbreaking evil that has been created by fallen humans living in a fallen world. I don't advocate that it is justifiable, even though I have some non-Christian friends who do.
There are two things that I whole-heartedly believe about abortion that may get me lynched anyway. First, I don't think it will ever go away. If by some inexplicable grace it was outlawed tomorrow, I think abortions would continue and in the continuation would become more dangerous for the woman seeking an abortion. Abortions, in some form or another have existed for centuries. During the height of the roman empire when orgies were the norm women knew of a certain herb they could eat that would end unwanted pregnancies. So many women used this herb that it doesn't even exist anymore. No matter what we do to fight the spread of sin on the earth it will persist until Christ returns and final judgment is made. Part of this sin is abortion, and hard as we fight it, there will continue to be unwanted children, and women seeking to avoid these "mistakes."
The second thing I believe about abortion is something that could get me in deep trouble with a lot of people. In this I pray that if I am wrong that the eyes of my heart would be opened and my blindness would be taken away by the truth that only true Grace can bring. I believe that education and love is more important that protest and condemnation. Many Christians think that going to pro-life rallies, or posting blogs about how awful abortion is, or shouting from the pulpit that women seeking abortions are murderers and the doctors who peform abortions are bringing a scourge of infanticide upon our country, or any number of equally condeming comments are not only right but also necessary and biblical. I feel that this attitude is foolish at best, and drasticaly harmful at worst. I think that educating girls about choices other than abortion, rather than condeming them for thinking abortion is a choice, could lead to fewer abortions. I think there are a lot of young women who really feel like there is no other way, and have no idea that there are people out there who would love to help them get through the what could be the toughest decision they may ever make.
What if instead of screaming from the mountaintops at the sinners we see around us, we follow a biblical example (i.e. Jesus) and love the sinners more than anyone else is willing to? What if we start looking at young women who are cosidering abortion as opportunities for love rather than opprtunities to preach? What if Christians were willing to take pregnant women into their homes, provide safe, loving, healthy environments for pregnancies to continue to grow and then help facilitate adoption? What if we were more interested in showing Jesus to a lost soul than worrying about the child that could be harmed as a result of sin being in the world? Maybe children could be saved. Maybe people would know we are Christians by our love, not our screams.
The issue we were discussing was the response of most Christians to abortion. The thing that gets me all riled up is not, surprisingly, abortion itself. Before I'm lynched I should explain. Abortion is an ugly, vile, heartbreaking evil that has been created by fallen humans living in a fallen world. I don't advocate that it is justifiable, even though I have some non-Christian friends who do.
There are two things that I whole-heartedly believe about abortion that may get me lynched anyway. First, I don't think it will ever go away. If by some inexplicable grace it was outlawed tomorrow, I think abortions would continue and in the continuation would become more dangerous for the woman seeking an abortion. Abortions, in some form or another have existed for centuries. During the height of the roman empire when orgies were the norm women knew of a certain herb they could eat that would end unwanted pregnancies. So many women used this herb that it doesn't even exist anymore. No matter what we do to fight the spread of sin on the earth it will persist until Christ returns and final judgment is made. Part of this sin is abortion, and hard as we fight it, there will continue to be unwanted children, and women seeking to avoid these "mistakes."
The second thing I believe about abortion is something that could get me in deep trouble with a lot of people. In this I pray that if I am wrong that the eyes of my heart would be opened and my blindness would be taken away by the truth that only true Grace can bring. I believe that education and love is more important that protest and condemnation. Many Christians think that going to pro-life rallies, or posting blogs about how awful abortion is, or shouting from the pulpit that women seeking abortions are murderers and the doctors who peform abortions are bringing a scourge of infanticide upon our country, or any number of equally condeming comments are not only right but also necessary and biblical. I feel that this attitude is foolish at best, and drasticaly harmful at worst. I think that educating girls about choices other than abortion, rather than condeming them for thinking abortion is a choice, could lead to fewer abortions. I think there are a lot of young women who really feel like there is no other way, and have no idea that there are people out there who would love to help them get through the what could be the toughest decision they may ever make.
What if instead of screaming from the mountaintops at the sinners we see around us, we follow a biblical example (i.e. Jesus) and love the sinners more than anyone else is willing to? What if we start looking at young women who are cosidering abortion as opportunities for love rather than opprtunities to preach? What if Christians were willing to take pregnant women into their homes, provide safe, loving, healthy environments for pregnancies to continue to grow and then help facilitate adoption? What if we were more interested in showing Jesus to a lost soul than worrying about the child that could be harmed as a result of sin being in the world? Maybe children could be saved. Maybe people would know we are Christians by our love, not our screams.
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