Friday, August 19, 2011

Pour out my heart

There's so much to do, and all I want to do is sit here and cry. I need to finish organizing and cleaning the guest bathroom, kitchen, laundry room, dining room, and guest bedroom. It probably wouldn't hurt to do a whole house vacuum and dust after I do all of that because of the sheer chaos that has been brought on my house lately, but I seriously doubt that my motivation will get me much farther than the kitchen.

With so much to do, why can I even contemplate sitting here and crying? Because I have lived with my phone attached to my person for the last 2 weeks, and the phone call I want hasn't come. Because my daughter isn't home, and my soul longs for that to not be true. Because it is so easy to look at all that we've accomplished and feel like none of it matters if my heart isn't in my arms. Because I go in her room a dozen times a day just thinking that I will open the door once and she will be there. Because I started out praying for a random girl, and now she is my daughter and I can't even tell her how much love God has put in my heart for her. Because miracle upon miracle has happened to get her home, and yet there is unfulfilled joy.

So, I have a good cry. And I read this promise:
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. - Ps 62:5-8
 And I take a deep breath. God I will pour out my heart before you while I clean my house today.

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you, friend. She'll be here soon. Hugs!!

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